Am I Perfect Yet?

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Body image is something that I think about pretty frequently. In fact, I think it's fair to say that I worry a good deal about how I look, and about how others perceive me.  When I clicked "publish" on my first intimates post, I felt a huge wave of anxiety. What would my followers think? How would I now be perceived? Would it completely change people's opinion of me? Would I be ridiculed and ultimately regret the whole thing, but never be able to undo it? And after all my worrying, I was met with nothing but positive responses, love, and support. I want to thank everyone who commented on that first post from the bottom of my heart. It gave me the courage to continue posting intimates related posts, and the ability to continue exploring my femininity, and self-worth by doing so.

While I don't think I'll ever be able to stop worrying about what others think of me, I do think these posts are helping me to love and appreciate myself more, even if I do look at some photos, think "yuck," and delete them with a wince at my stomach or hips. Every post is a step in the right direction. I think that women these days are often taught to be ashamed of their sexuality, and never learn to love the power of their femininity in a shame free environment until they are much older. This is something I am deeply troubled by, and want to work to change, even if it is in my own life, or here in my little blip of internet. We should be raised knowing we are beautiful and perfect in our own skins, taught to love our sexuality, and to embrace our power as women. We should be raised feeling perfect, not feeling that perfect is something we need to strive to (but never will be able to) achieve. 


When I took these photos, I was just getting over my hideous joint pain, and feeling pretty overwhelmed with school and life in general. I was upset with myself for straying from my clean eating meal plan and not being able to exercise. Basically my new health regimen went to crap and I was deep in a pit of exhaustion and self-loathing. If anyone had told me this about themselves, I would tell them not to be ridiculous and that sick people should rest, and mistakes can always be undone. One can always just make a better choice for their next meal. One can always work out tomorrow, if they're feeling better. Why are we so hard on ourselves? Sometimes I think it's very important to step back and see how you'd treat someone else in your situation, odds are, it's better than you're treating yourself. I definitely need to work more on this, and stop being so hard on myself. It creates one giant stress ball that causes me to have breakdowns. Not. Good.

Whenever I post these photos for you guys, I want to be soft and real. Like my last post, I didn't do hair or makeup in an attempt to look as real as possible. I want to offer myself to you on a different level, one that is by no means perfect, and willing to show it. I love you all so much, and am so grateful for the kindness and support you've given me. Thanks for reading. It truly means the world.


  1. I love these :) And I completely agree that most of us don't treat ourselves the way we would treat others in the same situation. It's good to take a step back every once in a while and tell yourself that it's ok to not be everything you want to be some days.

    1. Thank you very much! I'm so glad my babbling was coherent enough for you to understand and connect with it!
      ♡Mariah Alysz

  2. I love this post and the photos look great!